Following the wishes of the dearly departed can be a tricky business, especially when the deceased left a few non-conventional instructions for their loved ones to follow. Generally, a death is a somber and somewhat elegant event. However, there are some people who carry their unique personality or penchant for pranks past their death and leave it to their next of kin to deliver their humorous tidings posthumously. Whether it is an oddly-worded tombstone, an inappropriate song request for the funeral, or a peculiar place to scatter the deceased's ashes, it is important to weigh the deceased's desires against the living's sentiments and, if necessary, tone down or alter the requests.
What do you do if the deceased has requested a tombstone that reads like something more appropriate for a restroom wall? You do not have to honor every last wish. In fact, some cemeteries will not allow curse words or explicit language on the tombstones. However, that doesn't mean you can't celebrate your loved one's sense of humor. Instead of a dirty limerick, a witty play on words will make the headstone memorable yet avoid the "cringe factor" of an inappropriate epitaph. A smiling picture also shows off the personality of the deceased and can bring comfort to visiting family and friends.
Most people have a personal song. It's the one they turn up on the radio, the one they sing in the shower, and the one they may wish to have played at their funeral or memorial. However, while it may have seemed funny when the request was made, the chances are good that the deceased didn't really want his or her funeral to be memorable for all the wrong reasons. If the request was for a specific song that you really feel is not appropriate, try a tamer song from the same band or singer, or stick with more subdued hymns and songs for the funeral service while you rock it up during the post-funeral wake or party.
If the deceased wanted their ashes scattered, it seems like a fairly simple task to follow their wishes -- unless the place they chose to scatter them is somewhat extreme or inappropriate. Again, compromises can be made. You can honor the spirit of the request without following their instructions to the letter. For example, many people want their ashes scattered in space. Although companies do exist that do this, the price can be thousands of dollars. Why not wait for an astronomical event such as an eclipse or a meteor shower and scatter the ashes into the wind? The same rule applies to a tropical island or a mountaintop. If you can't meet the exact request, do your best by aiming for a compromise that the deceased's family and friends can agree on (and afford). If you are interested, companies like the Danks-Hinski Funeral Home can help with cremation services.
Everyone wants to do right by their departed loved ones but occasionally the last requests are hard for the living to follow. Don't be afraid to part from the script when you feel it's more appropriate.Share
30 August 2017
Hi everyone, my name is Sari Blakenship. My first time visiting a funeral home was an extremely comforting experience. Although I was blindsided by the death of my loved one, the funeral director helped me through the planning process without taking advantage of my grief. I was allowed to work at my own pace to cope with the grief in a healthy way. I was never rushed or pressured, despite the necessary timeline. Whenever I couldn't move forward, the funeral director held my hand and offered words of comfort. I would like to share each step of the funeral planning process to help others through this difficult process. Planning a funeral takes a lot of thought and time during a particularly difficult period. Please visit whenever you need a hand.